It was early afternoon on a November day in 2023, I was at work when I received the phone call.

By this time, the lump I felt inside my left breast while in the shower had almost multiplied in size, and I was a few biopsies in, so I guess I had time to mentally prep — not like such a thing exists — but it wasn’t a complete surprise, is what I’m trying to say.

I’ll never forget the first time I felt “it.”

I wasn’t worried at all.

After having had my oldest daughter, I was a bit ‘lumpy’ if you will, so they biopsied me — that was in 2008. So, my thought was, it’s just those benign cyst things again, no problem.

Except this time around, it was growing and this thing was on a mission.

Fast forward: We now know my breast cancer was hormone-based, so it makes sense. It was on a one-way train ride, and the ride was like the express train we see in all of the Disney North Pole movies — the thing was on super speed.

The cancer started in my left breast and was quickly making a few stops along the way. When they went in for my surgery (May 6, 2024) they extracted 14 lymph nodes in my left arm, three of which were malignant.

16 chemo sessions, a double mastectomy, a full hysterectomy, and for the final touch… 25 radiation sessions. That is how I spent the year 2024.

Oh wait . . . I was also fired while going through chemo but I’ll save that story for another day.

Oh wait . . . And our teenager told us she was pregnant.

Stories for another day.

Truly though, I say all of this out loud to whomever is reading because I own my story.

But I fully admit, I didn’t always walk with the loud confidence like I do now. Not at all. While the story was unfolding, there was a lot of weeping, a lot of confusion, a lot of grief, but then . . . the rain lifted, and the most extravagant rainbow started to peek through.

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And that rainbow hasn’t left my side since . . . it sits with me during the day and it lays with me during the night.

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Losing my job helped me slow down.

Becoming a grandma helped me regain a part of my soul I didn’t know life stole from me.

Cancer renewed my relationship with a God I always knew existed — but one that had to work around my schedule.

My life now works around my God, and I wouldn’t have this had it not been for a disease trying to inhabit my body.

So dare I call cancer a friend?

Yes.

It started as an intrusive neighbor — a stranger I didn’t want to know, in fact, one I wanted to challenge and curse. And while I don’t want it taking up residence inside of me, it’s not a stranger in my home anymore.

Because of it, I feel everything so deeply — deeper than ever before.

I see life through a new pair of eyes, and ones I do not wish to return. I really like this new me, and if cancer was the compromise, then so be it.

God helped me win the battle, and still, He helps me.

I’m tired now, and I’m heading to bed, but before I do, I want to say this:

Don’t wait for the intrusive neighbor to knock at your door. Give thanks for your health if you have it.

Love,

NZ